so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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