why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
