Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
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