That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
