420 ftw
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
