porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
