After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
