at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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