Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
