It's like God shit irony all over that family
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
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