what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize