What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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