Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
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