Umm I'm too high to move.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
