Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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