Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
