Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
