I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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