Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Randomize
