so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
