too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize