My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
