guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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