He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
