I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
