do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize
