a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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