She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
