I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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