marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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