his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
