Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
