the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Ladies don't puke and tell
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Randomize
