You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Mom said you looked used
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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