Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
i out mim tonsoeep
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