I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
