I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Randomize
