Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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