He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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