I forgot how hot balto sounded
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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