And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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