Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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