That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
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