ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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