I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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