I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
