Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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