We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
