yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
