my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize
