why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize