yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
