Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
