Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
