who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
