I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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