1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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