Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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