You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Randomize
