Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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