Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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