Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
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