So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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