Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(763): View more from Minnesota

I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.

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(606): View more from Kentucky

There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.

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(702): View more from Nevada

And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.

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(630): View more from Illinois

wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.

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(775): View more from Nevada

Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.

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(914): View more from New York

That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."

(845): View more from New York

Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library

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