So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
