I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize