hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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