Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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