I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Randomize
