420 ftw
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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