I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
we should paint friendship bongs
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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